dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize