your parents love me but you hate me
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
