she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
