ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
