You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
