I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
