I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
