Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize