If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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