Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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