Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize