and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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