Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize