I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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