i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
