A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
