I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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