bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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