I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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