But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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