dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
