WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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