you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
