Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
