Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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