I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
