is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
