You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
