She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
is it fun? or sober?
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