It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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