My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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