You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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