Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
