ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
