he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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