The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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