I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
