so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
