Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
