my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
