We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Someone signed my nipple.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
