He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
