i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she told me i tasted like america
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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