This girl is more easily done than said...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
