I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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