their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
