pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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