Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
