whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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