and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
