your room smells of hookers.
And success
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
