ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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