R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I skipped work to stalk him.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
