He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
