she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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