if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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