I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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