Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
we're so committed to being not committed
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