Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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