Pants 0. Shit 1.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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