I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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