My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
