Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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