just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
NoShamevember. You game?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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