If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
When did angry sex become our thing?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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