Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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